A big one that came out of it for me when it asked: List 5 words that describe your top emotions over the past year positive or negative. One that I wrote down was the word pulled.
As I reflected more on this I think this is something so many moms are feeling. Like no one is quite getting "enough" of you. Pulled in a million directions all throughout the day. For me, wanting so badly to pour deeper into each and every area of my life. As a mom of multiples I know this just comes with the territory. Not every one of my kids can get my full attention and while I know there's so much goodness in knowing our limitations (and that kids can and should do their own thing!) I have to admit this is a huge struggle for me!
When I'm doing homeschool I see all the ways I want to go deeper, do more projects, have more fun, the co op work I should plan for and the supplies I need to order. When mothering I never want to miss a moment that may seem insignificant and have a spiritual heart conversation with that child. I want to have one on one time with them and hear the funny (and eternally long) stories they have for me. When I got to put my kids clothes in their room I see the drawers spilling over and think of all the better ways I could organize that room (haha or spark more joy? 😆) When running into the grocery store I wish I had meal planned and been more intentional with my health and fitness goals. When taking my child to the doctor I know I could spend more time researching more time improving her quality of life. When working in our ministry I see that I could easily spend 30 hours a week there and still have much to do and so so many people to invest in and care for. We all know this list goes on and on. Or maybe you're just thinking geez Anne get your life in order 😂.
But the list does go on. As a wife, a mommy, a friend, a sister. Our world is fast paced and it has to take conscious effort to fight against running on the hamster wheel. To say to no to certain sports and electives or music lessons your kids could be involved in. And as I fight against it all I can still feel the pullllllingggg on me and the internal voice telling me I have to give more and be more. Then I hear the Lord reminding me to stop. Just stop. Listen. How can I listen when I'm running at a manic pace. He reminds me that I can stop striving. That I can give what I have and know he can carry the rest. How prideful of me to think that I could provide for all the needs of the people around me instead of pointing them to the one who can provide for them in the ways their heart and soul truly needs. And even better that I can be a model of someone saying "I can't do it all" but look, look at the one who can! That yes I need to strive to be closer to my savior and do what he's called me to do but how amazing that I can lay down the expectations of doing it all and lean back on my savior and enter his rest. I know the people pleaser in me wants to make people happy with me all the time at all costs and as I've grown I've realized that often that cost is too big. The Lord calls us to GIVE generously he calls us to show others who HE is, not who we are. I know I'm guilty of feeling that pride when someone mentions how much you're doing and how well you're doing it.....yikes. What a joy that I can lift the millions of plates that I've been trying to spin at once (and in reality dropping!) and let him carry them. If you're feeling unable to carry it today please know that he can. The focus was never meant to be us, it was meant to be him. Did you know you could "accomplish" nothing and still be completely and wholly loved by him? That's something to give us big deep breaths.
Consider this section from a great book I'm reading called Made for More by Hannah Anderson
Unlike the rest of creation, as majestic and glorious as it is, only men and women are made in the image of God. Only we have the breath, the very spirit of God, flowing in our earthly lungs' only we can be truly called His children.
And this is why your life is significant.
It's not because of what you accomplish or how many people you influence. Your life is significant because when God created you, He "crowned [you] with glory and honor" by making you like Himself. Because as certainly as God formed our first parents, He formed you in your mother's womb, and just as certainly as they bore His image, you bear His image today. As you walk and talk and live and move--and prepare those 50,000 meals--your very existence, your life itself, reflects and represents Him on this earth.
