I'm really excited to feature on my blog today a guest post and book promotion from Kim Oates. Kim is a homeschooling mom of 4 and the Women's ministry director at her local church. She recently was a part of a wonderful book launch and I'm excited for you to hear from her!
If you’ve ever been paralyzed by a decision you
needed to make, you are not alone. This book and post are for you. I first
began listening to Emily P. Freeman’s podcast, “The Next Right Thing” a few
years ago. Her soothing voice, short episodes, and prayerful endings hooked me,
and listening to it became one of my favorite weekly rhythms. Recently, Emily
turned some of these podcast episodes into a book, and I’ve been able to be
part of the book launch team. Head to NextRightThingBook.com, where you’ll receive some amazing bonuses for pre-ordering. You
won’t regret it!
Around that same time, my husband and I embarked
on a project of re-flooring our entire house…while we lived in it. It’s still
up for debate whether that was our best next right thing or not, but because of
that project, our hand-me-down hutch ended up being moved to the garage. We
agreed it wouldn’t come back in till it was “redone,” since it had seen better
days after full use from food and grime from four very small humans.
As almost all DIY projects do, this flooring
project was much longer and more difficult to complete than we had expected. As
the months rolled by, the hutch sat in the garage untouched, with most of our
other kitchen belongings. By the time the “project” was done, the school year
was back in full-force, we were exhausted. The hutch still sat in the same
place.
I began to wonder if we would ever actually redo
and move that hutch. Around that time, we decided to hire a friend to paint the
hutch. I can’t remember how many times I tried to explain to my husband how it
would be easy and cheaper to just do it ourselves. I never convinced him. With
my friend ready to begin the job, it was time for me to pick a paint color.
Here’s where my decision-making hit an all-time
low. I treated picking a paint color for this hutch as if the destiny of my
first-born child was attached to the decision. First it was the decision to
choose white or color. Every week I changed my mind. We finally decided we
really wanted color. But then I realized there were so many colors and shades
that I liked.
I began to realize that in this seemingly
meaningless decision—picking the paint color for our hutch—I had begun to
transfer many other actual life decision anxieties onto it. For example, which
school should we send our kids to next year? I didn’t know, but I did feel like
that paint color decision might help decide in a weird way. I was now judging
myself and my lack of decisions about many things in my life based on my
paralyzed indecision about the paint color. It was a vicious cycle. I was
stuck, however I desperately needed to move on.
This hutch sitting in my garage—unpainted and
unfinished—was basically an extension of how my soul was stuck in that season.
I was second-guessing every decision because I wasn’t resting in God’s love and
care for me. I had put an unnecessary weight on every decision as if my life
would unravel if I somehow made the wrong choice. I needed to re-tether to
Christ’s yoke, where in Matthew 11:28-30, Christ promises His followers, “Come
to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my
yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you
will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is
light.(ESV)”
This book, based on Emily P. Freeman’s podcast,
is a welcome guide that helped shine a light on what was preventing me from
making daily choices, big and small. The trouble I was having with the hutch
redo was pointing to a deeper fear about decision-making in my life. In
her chapter titled, “Pick What You Like,” Freeman has a similar seemingly
insignificant moment at a garden shop while trying to pick out plants.
Though the situations differ, they have one thing in common: they are all supposed to be fun, delightful parts of life. But instead, for some reason and for some of us, they take a turn into feelings of being overwhelmed, discouraged, and personally shamed. What we hope will be life-giving turns out to be life-draining, one more decision we feel incapable of making. (Freeman 200)
For some reason, I was not allowing myself the
pleasure of just making the hutch be what I really liked and wanted. I was
trying to justify every choice and how it would work out best, without just
picking the thing that made me happy. Later in the same chapter, Freeman
continues this thought.
Having pretty flowers, painting a room a bold color, or trying out a new recipe is not for people who know more, who have more, or who seem to be more than you. This is for you too. You don’t have to be fancy, rich, chosen, or special. You just get to be you. You are allowed to take up space in a room. You are allowed to choose something and you are allowed to change your mind. (Freeman 201)
As I began to release my anxiety over this small
decision, the main thing I kept asking myself over and over, every little step
of the way redoing that hutch was, “what do I want?” As I asked this, I also
gave myself the freedom to say that it was okay if I changed my mind later.
The hutch eventually did make it back inside...
two years later! Even though it took a long time, I’m grateful for the internal
changes that the process and experience brought. And I was absolutely THRILLED
to have the redone hutch back in my kitchen. Now that it’s back in it’s
rightful place, I’m able to think about my journey of learning how to make decisions
every time I grab a plate or food.
If you have ever been paralyzed by a decision
you needed to make, please gift yourself this book. Better yet, pre-order the
book at NextRightThingBook.com, and you’ll receive some amazing bonuses from Emily. Here’s the
description from the book sleeve: “Whether you’re in the midst of a major life
transition or are weary of the low-grade anxiety that daily life can bring,
Emily helps create space for your soul to breathe so you can live life with God
at a gentle pace and discern your next right thing in love.”
Quotes taken from Freeman, Emily P., The Next
Right Thing, Grand Rapids: Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, 2019.
Book.
